Modeling Clear Boundaries
Let’s Be Honest…
“Am I Overindulging My Children?”
A parent asks, "Am I Overindulging My Children?" I find it very hard to say “No" to my kids. How does someone know if they are over-indulging their children with material possessions? I want my son and daughter to feel okay about expressing what they want, but I don't...
“Everyone In This Family Hates Me!”
A parent wrote with this concern: "Dear Susan, My 5-year-old often gets angry and yells, "Everyone hates me in this family!” It's usually when things aren't going the way she wants. I tell her, “We don’t hate you—we love you!” but it doesn’t seem to help. What can I...
13 Year Old’s ADHD Behavior Drives People Crazy!
My ADHD son has impulse problems. He is 13 years old and his behavior drives other children away. His teachers are beyond frustrated. Any advice on what to do? The pre-frontal cortex (PFC) is the part of the brain behind the forehead that governs the inhibitory...
How Can I Teach My Son To Have Boundaries If Mine Are Flimsy?
How do I teach my 8-year-old son to have better personal boundaries? For two years, he has been friends with a boy who is often in trouble at school, and whose parents find him challenging at home. While the boys share some common interests and frequently want to have...
Help! I yell all day long!
I have 2 kids -- 6 1/2 and 5 years old. My husband works long hours and I am alone with them most of the time. It seems like all I do is scream and yell, because my stress level is so high. Money is short and I'm tired all the time. When something breaks down --...
Why do my kids refuse to cooperate?
Most children feel like the majority of our conversations with them are focused on getting them to do something they don’t want to do. They see us coming, list in hand (literally or figuratively) and brace themselves to resist as long as possible. Typically, whatever it is we want them to do is much less enjoyable than what they’re already doing.
Think about it. Your daughter is tucked into a warm bed, cozy and happy, knowing she’s home with Mommy, and life is good. Your first interaction of the day is designed to remove her from that yummy bed and get her clothes on so she can leave home and go to a place where someone else tells her what to do for six hours. I’m not suggesting she shouldn’t go to school, or that she won’t enjoy it once she gets there, but for most children, there’s a strong preference to be at home, which means the battles begin from the moment they awaken.
My child falls apart when I say “No”
This week, I did private consults with two different families for a version of the same problem: kids who could not handle it when their parents said "No." In one case, the dad of a teen said his son became furious if Dad said he couldn't have something he wanted....
The Silent Treatment
Not long ago, I found myself in conversation with a young daddy. He volunteered that he and his wife had an 18 month old who had been having frequent tantrums. "We give him the silent treatment. It makes him really mad but if we ignore him, eventually he stops."...
