Susan’s Sharings

Am I Over-Indulging My Kids?

Am I Over-Indulging My Kids?

I find it very hard to say "no" to my kids. How does someone know if they are over-indulging their children? I want my son and daughter to have a healthy respect for their needs but I don't want them to have a sense of entitlement. Can you talk about how I can tell...

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More on “Use Your Words”

More on “Use Your Words”

Part 2 of prior post: Children feel things passionately. As wonderful as it is that your little guy is able to articulate his frustration, it may not always be enough. Let him pound a pillow, whack a punching bag, stamp his feet or yell if the setting is right. Anger...

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Should My Three Year Old Just “Use His Words?”

Should My Three Year Old Just “Use His Words?”

My three-year-old does a pretty good job of saying what he feels. ("I feel like kicking you!"). I think that's a good thing but I'm a little concerned that he's started saying things like, "I feel like yelling" when he's upset instead of yelling. Should I be helping...

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Embracing our Parenting Imperfections

Embracing our Parenting Imperfections

“You’re grounded for a year!” “Why can’t you be more like your brother?” “If you don’t like my rules, go live with grandma!” Have words like these ever flown out of your mouth as you watched in horror, unable to stop yourself? Join the club! Nothing can expand our...

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Evacuation, Uncertainty, and Refuge

Evacuation, Uncertainty, and Refuge

Over 150 families lost everything they own in these fires. I spent time yesterday with a friend whose twenty-something youngster has brain cancer. We live our lives as if we are in control, but we aren’t.  We may sleep at home tomorrow night, but we may turn around and hit the road if the air is intolerable.We may have our holiday get together at home, but we may have it somewhere else, as yet to be determined. 

What can we do, when faced with uncertainty? And how do we help our children when, try as we might to create predictability, external circumstances become unsteady?
 
We look for what is certain. We hold fast to what is true and solid right now. The blueness of the sky. The sweet song of the birds outside our window. The miracle of breath pouring into and out of us.
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Wild Child Can’t Settle Down

Wild Child Can’t Settle Down

My five year old son is a sweet boy, but it becomes impossible for him to listen or calm down when he has friends over to play. He also uses words like "stupid" for fun, despite telling him that these are hurtful words. I was an only child and haven't had much...

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Helping Children Understand the Impact of Anger

Helping Children Understand the Impact of Anger

I have always loved this story, and find that it can be useful as we try to help our children understand the impact of things done and said in anger. (Author unknown)   There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him...

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How Can I Help Daughter Get Used to Babysitter?

How Can I Help Daughter Get Used to Babysitter?

My almost-5-year-old daughter refuses to stay with a babysitter. I have no family nearby and it has been ages since my husband and I went out on a date night. (The last time was six months ago when my mother was in town. She is the only one my daughter will stay...

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Overwhelmed by my Passionate Child!

I read your column every week and like what you say about attaching to our kids, but I have a hard time connecting with my younger child. I was raised in a home were children were seen but not heard and my daughter is fiery, emotional, and highly opinionated! I admire...

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Reflections on a Day of Mindful Practice

Reflections on a Day of Mindful Practice

I am, by nature, a fairly restless sort of person. In fact, I've been told that even as a toddler, I was always busy. That active temperament has often collided with an inborn, powerful drive toward a meditative practice that began in my teens. When I"m too outwardly...

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Here’s a simple way to foster cooperation – without bribes or punishments!

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